Life Hackery

Some people have repeatedly tried to fix their relationships but their partners simply won’t compromise to make the relationship work. They usually end up fighting over things that were supposedly fixed in the past. The quarrels usually get worse as mutual respect gets thrown out of the window. In cases like this, you must start thinking on where your relationship is really headed. You may want to end your relationship free from all the squabbling and the quarreling, which made your relationship such a chore anyway. Here are three good ways to pull off a graceful break up.

Method One: Creating Distance

In every relationship, many habits are formed. These acts are relationship-based habits that may differ from one relationship to another. Your job is to gradually shy away from these acts, until your partner realizes that something is amiss.

• Break the Routines – While doing your routines as a couple, you can show a hint of being preoccupied.You can crack less jokes, be a little less sweet or be less passionate with your public displays of affection. Your partner will suspect that something is different about you. After a long pause and a sigh, tell your partner that you do not feel comfortable doing the same routines anymore.

  Your partner will feel saddened by your message. He or she will extend a gesture of sweetness, in an effort to bring your usual self back. You can then explain to your partner that the relationship has been good but it is heading towards an unfavorable direction. Maintain your composure as you state your personal reasons in a diplomatic manner.

  The setting will play in your favor since your partner holds it as the sanctuary ground of your relationship. Naturally, he or she will be more sad than angry, which is a better emotional state for hearing out reasons. You can then end the relationship after a few sad exchanges or after enduring a short bitter outburst.

• Too Cold for Sex – Sex is an important factor in many relationships. Good sex stimulates some relationships further by establishing a strong sensual connection. If you turn cold all of a sudden, your partner may be startled. You can then explain to him or her that you feel that the sex is the only thing that is holding your relationship together.Explain to your partner that outside of your sexual compatibility, the relationship is a mess. Stroke your partner’s ego by being a good sexual partner, to lessen the amount of anger that he or she can bring out. You can then tell your partner that the sex is good but your life is just more important. End the relationship right after.

Method Two: The TLRC Checklist

The TLRC are the elements of a healthy relationship. If at least one of the elements is missing in your relationship, you need to iron out many issues between you and your partner. Anyway, TLRC stands for:

• Trust
• Love
• Respect
• Compromise

The list may look corny or cheesy but if you think about each component carefully, you’d probably agree.

You can use the TLRC checklist as an instant tool to end your relationship. Just look into the issues of your relationship and tie them to the corresponding TLRC components.

Procedure:

1. Think carefully about your issues and their sources, then tie them to a corresponding TLRC checklist component.

2. Notice how each of the TLRC components are closely tied to one another. From that connection, you can form a strong argument on why your relationship is headed down the drain.

3. Think of how you can deliver your argument in a diplomatic manner.

4. Chance up on your partner when he or she is conversational.

5. Deliver the argument.

Expect resistance to your argument. Your partner can get hysterical but if you maintain your composure and stick to the general connectivity of the TLRC list, he or she will not stand a chance. Your partner will end up agreeing that the relationship should end as soon as possible.

Method Three: No One Can Ever Bank on History

When your partner has been repeatedly crowing about your need to revert back to your former self, you can snap back any of the following arguments:

• “I am not who I was anymore? If you cannot deal with the changes, let’s put a stop to this.”

- This line pretty much seals the deal. Your partner will have no choice but to conform to the demands of your current phase, or else give up the relationship altogether. This argument clearly outlines your personal needs as an individual, which ideally, must be supported by the relationship.

• “You have a relationship with me right now, not with the person from a few months back.”

- This line is a good retort to any attempt of your partner to stop your personal growth. Your partner’s quick answer may look like this - “Please understand my situation. I’m having a hard time here.” You can push for positive change or influence the breakup by saying - “As much as I want to change, I cannot undermine my future, the future that I want for us. If you cannot join me in my growth, this relationship will go nowhere.”
• “We clearly have different priorities and aspirations. If our goals do not really meet, think how it can affect our future. Look at what’s happening to us right now.”

- This statement is true and easy to defend. Truth is, the secret to successful marriages is for both parties to have parallel goals.Those goals may totally differ but the partners should find themselves n similar phases in their life and have complementing goals for the relationship.

For instance, your partner is still in the state of experimenting stuff like partying and going to clubs, while you’d like nothing but to settle down in life. You can either wait for your partner to reach your state in life or put a halt to the relationship.

Ideally, both of you should grow together in a relationship. If you see your partner as a hindrance to your growth, you must think how beneficial your relationship truly is. You have the option to save the relationship if your partner is willing to cooperate.

If not, you can always refer to this list as your instant guide for a graceful breakup.