Life Hackery

The fire exit serves as your escape when a fire breaks out in a movie theater or any establishment. This area is often situated near crowded locations for easy access. Without the threat of fire, the exit is nothing more than an empty room that is rarely visited by people; however, you can transform the fire exit into a multi-purpose area for your varying needs.

People have a notion that the fire exit is an off-limits area when there is no fire. Some establishments do not really care if you enter the emergency exit as long as they don’t catch you doing something funny. Of course, what they can’t catch won’t probably hurt them. Here are several wacky uses for the fire exit:

1. Place for Secret Meetings

Need to discuss something that the general public shouldn’t know? Need to practice secret rituals that might get you in trouble? Why not do your secret meetings in a fire exit? Since the room is usually empty on normal days, you can meet up in a fire exit and discuss sensitive information. Many establishments have these exits and the best ones for clandestine meets are those found in movie theaters, schools, and sometimes restaurants. Just be wary of security cameras and security guards. The moment you see them, abort your plan immediately.

Useful for:

• confidential or illegal business deals
• cults
• secret societies
• private investigators
• hiding place for the SWAT team

2. The Mini Motel Room

When things get a little steamy between you and your date, chances are, you want to add adventure to your sensual escapades. The fire exit happens to be a great venue for such endeavors. Given that it is usually empty, you will get your much needed privacy. You also have a slight chance of getting caught by security guards or the cleanup crew, which heightens the excitement. If you are pretty adventurous, you can even smile for the security camera.

Useful for:

• young lovers who can’t control their urges
• hookups
• couples who want to stimulate their relationships

3. Secret Smoking Areas

For a smoker, being trapped inside a no smoking zone for several hours can prove to be difficult. Smokers are usually consumed by their cravings for cigarette smoke. They have problems concentrating and producing ideas. Normally, you can go to a smoking area and engage in your favorite vice but if you’re in high school, that luxury is simply not available. Good thing schools have fire exits for these purposes. Just make sure that the school prefects are not around when you sneak inside the room.

Useful for:

• high school smokers
• teachers and prefects who do not want to set a bad example on campus.

4. Room for the Arts

Arts and crafts are messy, especially on carpeted floors of apartments and dormitories. Scrubbing off paste and paint is a tough job even for experienced maintenance personnel. Why go through the hassle of cleaning up when you can turn the fire exit into your personal art room?

Security rarely visits fire exits, so setting up your art materials shouldn’t be a problem. The only problem is, the fire exits of some apartment buildings aren’t well-ventilated. You can bring a small electric fan or a water spray to help you create your masterpiece. As for the mess that often accompanies art, you can slide it inside the garbage chutes found in the fire exit.

Useful for:

• painters
• craftmakers
• students doing art projects

5. Pest Diversion

Pests abound in messy dormitories and condo units. Spraying insecticides does not aways finish the job. For some reason, these creepy crawlies still appear at the slightest hint of spilled food or leftovers even if your room has already been treated by an exterminator. You can create a diversion for these little beasties by tossing your leftovers in the fire exit. Make sure that you purchase a new set of pesticides and fly paper while the pests are still distracted.

Useful for:

• owners of messy rooms
• rooms that have many pests
• people who are scared of cockroaches

6. Fighter’s Den

Many people despise night clubs due to violence that is often induced by alcohol and inflated egos. Whenever a bar fight breaks out, innocent people can get involved. As a responsible bar goer, you can bring your fights inside the fire exit instead of the dance floor. Fewer people will be involved and you can settle the score with your opponent without any distractions and obstructions. You also won’t be caught by the police or the bouncer since you’re well hidden inside the room.

Useful for:

• angry individuals
• violent drunks
• people with inflated egos
• scumbags

7. Location for an Action Scene

The staircase found in fire exits of buildings are good locations for action scenes. The small space makes the situation look more desperate for the protagonist. It can also show the ability of the action hero to dodge bullets while outrunning the villains on the small flight of stairs. If you think such a scene is silly, films like “The Bourne Identity”, “True Lies” and “Die Hard” have used it to perfection. You might as well follow suit, if you plan to make your own action movie.

Useful for:

• action movies
• comedy movies
• TV commercials

8. Place to Hangout

High school and college kids are pressured to pick a hangout spot since large groups usually take the cool areas. Instead of roaming around the campus like nomads, you and your crew can take the fire exit as your eating area and your corner for chitchat. You can even smoke and mime Star Wars scenes inside the room, making it a cooler area than the ones picked by the hip crowd.

Useful for:

• regular students
• students who can relate to the protagonists of ‘Superbad’
• geeks
• loners

Fire or no fire, the fire exit is a place that you can readily take advantage. Empty spaces are bound to hold special things eventually and the fire exit is a fine example. Better think of a cool use for the escape room before someone beats you to it.