Life Hackery

Morning traffic is a headache, especially for those who have early call times. You will find yourself stuck in a long line of vehicles and you can’t do anything about it. You’ll have no choice but to watch your timepiece spell out your fate, which is another infraction of tardiness. The thing with traffic is, it can appear at any given moment and stop you from getting to work or school on time. You must have more than a few aces up your sleeve, if you want to maintain a good attendance record.

A traffic jam has a multitude of causes. It can start from a few traffic violators, road development projects or even unforeseen incidents, such as accidents or malfunctioning traffic lights. You should be able to anticipate each of these events and have the resourcefulness to bail yourself out. If you think you’re running out of options, here are 20 surefire ways to beat the morning traffic:

1. Google Maps - Google maps is the ultimate application for traffic navigation. Just click on the traffic button on the upper right portion of the map and you’ll be able to see the various traffic conditions in your area. Check the areas with the least amount of traffic, then try to discover as many side streets as possible. In the end, you’ll be able to plot several traffic-free routes going to your school or office. (see Top Ten ways to use google earth)

2. Switch Streets - An advantage that a commuter holds over car owners is the ability to go out of a vehicle and walk to an uncongested street. When you are stuck in traffic while riding a cab, you can pay the fare, go down, walk to a side street and hail another cab. Just repeat the same strategy if you get stuck in traffic once again.

3. Purchase a Siren - The initial reaction of drivers when they hear a siren is to either slow down or go to the roadside. You can use the handy device when you suspect that a traffic jam is about to form. Just switch it on and the cars in front of you will move away, at least for a moment. This gives you enough time to speed off before the other drivers realize that they’ve been fooled. Be careful though, since using a siren is illegal.

4. The ROTC Uniform - ROTC/College CMT uniforms look like actual outfits of military men. Secure one of those garbs then wear it while traveling. Switch on your car’s hazard to make it seem like you have urgent military affairs to attend to. Remarkably, some people will mistake you for a real officer and let you through. If you get pulled over by a cop, just tell him that you’re late for class.

5. Relatives in the Military - People with relatives, who hold high ranks in the military or in the police force, can use their influence to break traffic laws. When cops asks them to pull over, they will show a copy of their relatives IDs and sometimes the policemen let them off the hook. Better start doing some research on your family tree.

6. Offer a Higher Taxi Fare - For extremely urgent cases, you can tell a cab driver that you’ll double your fare if he manages to get you to your destination on time. Watch him swerve, cut other drivers and beat the red light until you reach the office. The ride may be scary, but your chances of not getting late will certainly improve.

7. Pay Off the Bus Driver - Stopping at a bus stop and waiting for other passengers to board take too much time, especially if you plan to avoid traffic. You can approach the bus driver and tell him that you will pay the fare for all the empty seats. If you’re lucky, he will agree then bring you straight to your destination.

8. Talk to Cab Drivers - Cab drivers are on the road for almost the entire day, which means they probably know more routes than you. Ask them about all the shortcuts that they know and the traffic patterns for the places that you usually visit. After the conversation, collate all the information and apply them when you’re driving.

9. Live Life on the Slow Lane - If you have a radar detector, you can drive over to the slow lane and go full throttle. Overtake the slow Sunday drivers, as you switch lanes whenever necessary. The moment the fuzz buster ticks, slow down then blend in with the other vehicles.

10. The Diplomatic License Plate - Diplomats have distinct advantages on the road - they are immune to some traffic violations, including speeding. You can secure a fake diplomatic license plate from a black market. Whenever you feel that you might get late for work, you can install the plate and overspeed your way to the office. Just make sure that you also got the necessary papers, justifying that you are a true diplomat, from the black market.

11. Follow an Entourage - When a powerful or influential individual travels, he or she is often escorted by policemen and other vehicles. Other people are expected to move their cars aside, so the group can pass. If you’re in a hurry, you can tailgate the final car of the entourage and switch on the hazard. You’ll get through the traffic in no time.

12. Create an Entourage - Finding an entourage isn’t a daily occurrence, so why not create your own, which is perfect for times of desperation? Ask a friend, who owns a luxury car, to act as the supposed VIP. You and the rest of your friends will tailgate your “powerful” friend , with the hazard turned on. If you have enough cash to burn, you can hire a real police escort, so you can move across traffic freely.

13. Follow an Ambulance - Just like with an entourage, motorists are expected to give way to a speeding ambulance. You can tailgate the hospital vehicle and follow it, as it makes it way through the traffic. Chances are the police will also help the ambulance go through the piles of cars, which works to your full advantage.

14. Phone a Cab - Being stuck in a long line of cars doesn’t really render you helpless. You can call a cab service to pick you up on a nearby side street. Park your car at the nearest possible place, then run to the rendezvous point. Returning to your car after work will indeed be a hassle, but at least you have managed to stave off another infraction of tardiness under your employment record.

15. Ride a Motorcycle - Tired of being stuck in a vehicle pileup everyday? There is actually a means of transport that is impervious to traffic - the motorcycle. Its small and slim frame can easily fit into small spaces. If you ride one, you can weave through the lines of stuck vehicles until you reach your destination. Don’t forget to wear all the required safety gear.

16. Steal a Bike - Need a quick way out of a traffic jam? You can head to a grocery store and steal one of the bicycles parked near the entrance. That way, you can wheeze by traffic effortlessly. It is advantageous for people who work at a nearby office. If your conscience bothers you, you can always return the bike where you found it anyway.

17. Bring a Map - The map is your basic tool for avoiding traffic. By browsing through it, you will find dozens of side streets, shortcuts and alternate routes to get to your destination. You can try out your newly discovered options if your normal route is clogged with traffic. (Tips on how to read a map)

18. Hitchhike - Sometimes getting a ride isn’t easy, especially when your area is packed with people. Commuters can add more transportation options if they attempt to hitchhike. Not all motorists are willing to give rides to strangers, so you should have a strategy. You can try to seduce motorists by wearing something skimpy or dangling some cash on your hand.

19. Ride a Carpool - Instead of bringing a car to school or the office, your friend or colleague, who owns a van, will provide the transportation while the rest pay for the gas. You’ll be pressured to leave early, since your slowness can certainly lead to everyone’s tardiness.

20. Follow All the Traffic Rules - Some people tend to lose their regard for traffic rules when they’re in a hurry. They, pressured to get to their destination, will try to swerve and tailgate their way through traffic. If they are unlucky, they will get arrested, which is ten times worse than getting tagged for tardiness. Remember, having a criminal record is always worse than a bad employment record.

Sometimes, waking up early does not assure you that you’ll make it on time, especially if you live far from your office. With some courage and serious amounts of luck, you can apply these strategies to breeze by or avoid the morning traffic. Tardiness is nothing but a thing of the past, once you have discovered the best strategy for your setup.

* But if you’re into extremes why not try riding and learning how to ride a horse.